Sudden Tears In The Dark

In the dark, with my mind blank for a while, I close my eyes and open it again. Then I see your face and your smile in the air, and suddenly, tears rush down from my face.

I realized how difficult it is not to have you around; missing the warmth, missing your heavy sweet hands holding mine.
My vulnerable heart and my needs are betraying my hopes and dreams of that promised day.

Tell me what it is that i should do. Tell me how to be strong.

In the mornings I walk with my head up thinking of you, telling myself that I can do this alone, but during nights, when the world is sleeping and my mind is no longer distracted, I think of you, the past and how it could have been - If only I was first in your thoughts.

I am trying. During those nights and during those moments when my mind separates from my body to fly back in time, I stop. I shake my head as if it would really shake the thought away forever. Somehow, it just comes back.

I wish you knew how much my heart is aching and how much i wish you were still around.

The Promise - by Tracy Chapman

If you wait for me then Ill come for you
Although Ive traveled far
I always hold a place for you in my heart
If you think of me, if you miss me once in awhile
Then Ill return to you
Ill return and fill that space in your heart

Remembering
Your touch
Your kiss
Your warm embrace
Ill find my way back to you
If youll be waiting
If you dream of me like I dream of you
In a place thats warm and dark
In a place where I can feel the beating of your heart

Remembering
Your touch
Your kiss
Your warm embrace
Ill find my way back to you
If youll be waiting
Ive longed for you and I have desired
To see your face your smile
To be with you wherever you are

Remembering
Your touch
Your kiss
Your warm embrace
Ill find my way back to you
If youll be waiting
Ive longed for you and I have desired
To see your face, your smile
To be with you wherever you are

Remembering
Your touch
Your kiss
Your warm embrace
Ill find my way back to you
Please say youll be waiting

Together again
It would feel so good to be
In your arms
Where all my journeys end
If you can make a promise if its one that you can keep, I vow to come for you
If you wait for me and say youll hold
A place for me in your heart.

Darn Thing Called Learning - Life 2.0

Do you believe when people say to be careful with your wishes because it may turn real one day?

This year has been on of those where i finally got my wishes granted.

I always dreamed of a challenging job. Somewhere where i can learn and manage at the same time. Where i can run the place and put some ideas working, remembering others actions and successes, past mistakes and perhaps giving daily duties a little twist.

I also wanted to move on with my personal life. It seemed to be stucked and going in circles for the past few years, and that certainly affected my career and my projection and view about life.

Something in me kept on saying that I needed a big change. A change that will leave an impact. Somehow i knew I had great things in life, and that i had things set for me, but i just felt like i didnt know how to appreciate it. At the same time, I had felt there were things I still had to accomplish and staying still in a life period was not going to get me there.
So i asked myself over and over, and it all came to the same conclusion - I needed a change.

So this year everything turned, and it all turned at the same time.(Did I ask for some dramatic/traumatic experience? ha!). I got a new job that is extremely challenging in different aspects, a confusing personal life and...
let's just say, I was missing the "good" - problem free life. All those so called problems I used to have, were nothing but winings from someone who had nothing to worry about.

Ironically, I don't regret any of these changes. The 180 degree change in life taught me a few many things. A problem free, clueless person suddenly became a tiny bit more aware of the real life and began to learn about chores ownership, responsibilities, money, family, commitment, love. Of course, many other lessons came with it, like GTD, honest public speaking 101 (my biggest mistake yet in my professional area), diligence, etc.

On my recet trip to Lake George I had some time to think about this complex thing called life. Looking back just a few months, i feel that life is just funny and has a great way of teaching someone to grow. Every action that you take is an executive decision you make in your life. Sometimes those decisions are logical and sometimes they are just emotional. But in the end they all get linked and somehow creates a circle of events called life. I thought it was great that i've got to experience these changes, simply because it makes me appreciate life at a higher level. Welcome to life 2.0

Everything happens for a reason. It happens because you want it to happen, and when it happens, it leads to other things that linked together marks a path for your to walk on and becomes your destiny. Does it sound like a slightly twisted version of The Alchemist perhaps?